TURNAROUND PARENTING

Child Discipline - The Positive Discipline Way

Many of us as parents have struggled at one time or another with how to effectively discipline our children. Do we spank our children, do we condemn them to time out or do we just let them do what they want and hope for the best? Our good friend and parenting expert, Dr. Jane Nelsen has written 18 books on parenting. I have to admit, I have only read a handful of her books. (Get to know her in this quick video I produced for her) Read more below...

One of the things Eileen and I appreciate about her positive discipline approach is this. Connection Before Correction is the best way to go. What that means is that you never attempt to discipline anyone while you are angry or frustrated. Always wait a while, cool off, look for the learning opportunity and then connect on an emotional and respectful level. Connection Before Correction is defined by Dr. Nelsen like this:

Create closeness and trust instead of distance and hostility by making sure the message of love gets through. Here are some ways to say it:

• "I love you and the answer is, no."
• "You are more important to me than your grades. What do your grades mean to you?"
• "I love you and have faith that we can find a respectful solution."

If you want to learn more of Dr. Jane Nelsen's Positive Discipline approach to child discipline, check out her website at www.PositiveDiscipline.com

Give your kids an extra hug today!

Steve

Watching Dr. Phil tell it like it is. Some people don't like how blunt he is but most of the time he's just being clear and direct. Which is exactly what most parents could be.

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DNR- Do Not Resuscitate or Do Not Regret?

I experienced a sudden reminder of the expiration date on my admission ticket to this thing called life yesterday. The fact that we are all just visiting God's little amusement park became very apparent when a friend of mine who was coming to visit pounded on my door at 10am. He told me someone was passed out, laying near the sidewalk just up the street from my home. I yelled to my wife to come along and the three of us ran up the street to see a body lying in the ground cover with two small toy poodles standing guard over him.

I immediately recognized my neighbor and was dialing 911 on my phone as I slowed down to evaluate the situation. I knew Dwight, only as the nice guy with a black and a white toy poodle. The extent of our conversations were about the weather and our dogs.

I figured Dwight had some sort of heart problem and so I handed the phone to my wife and got down and started CPR on him. It's a very strange thing to know someone very superficially and then to be suddenly intimately involved in deciding their fate. Actually, there was no decision on my part other than to decide to try save this guy's life or accept the fact that he is already gone. I am no doctor so all I knew to do was to begin CPR that I learned two decades ago. All I knew was that compressing his chest and breathing into his lungs might revive him if he wasn't too far gone. So, I just started - compressing, pumping, pumping, pumping.

For 10 minutes I did this while things happened around me. After the paramedics got there and took over, his wife, two grown sons, and a daughter in law showed up. I just stood there while the professionals worked on him. I thought for sure they would get his heart going again. Didn't happen. I think Dwight's ticket was up before I got there. I overheard the doctor on the radio from the hospital tell one of the EMT's to "call him at 10:35." Boom. Just like that. Life ends.

I flash on the strangest things about that situation. Could I have done more? What if we had been there sooner? When I first walked up to him his toy poodles were standing guard. The little black one was sitting on his belly, looking quite frightened. I reached down to pick him up, fully expecting to get bitten. The little guy growled at me but didn't bite me as I handed him to my friend.

My dog-loving neighbor had a DNR in place. Do not resuscitate. I think he knew he was living on borrowed time. Although this moment will be etched in my mind forever, I appreciate the reminder it has given me. We got an all-inclusive rides pass when we entered this amusement park called life and we get to have all kinds of rides before the park is closed and we are sent home. Some of the rides we thoroughly enjoy, others we might not. But we do get to experience every kind of ride there is by the time our visit is over.

My neighbor had a DNR document so the doctors knew they shouldn't go to extreme measures to keep him alive. I think the rest of us need a DNR document also. But, slightly different. The rest of us should have a Do Not Regret document that we adhere to. One that says we won't leave the amusement park with any regrets.

So, for me, the ride continues. I don't know when the park will be closing but until then, I am going to be fully present for the screams, the laughs, the fears, and the fun until the lights go out and the park closes for good.

Steve Dahl

I experienced a sudden reminder of the expiration date on my admission ticket to this thing called life yesterday. The fact that we are all just visiting God's little amusement park became very apparent when a friend of mine who was coming to visit pounded on my door at 10am. He told me someone was passed out, laying near the sidewalk just up the street from my home. I yelled to my wife to come along and the three of us ran up the street to see a body lying in the ground cover with two small toy poodles standing guard over him.

I immediately recognized my neighbor and was dialing 911 on my phone as I slowed down to evaluate the situation. I knew Dwight, only as the nice guy with a black and a white toy poodle. The extent of our conversations were about the weather and our dogs.

I figured Dwight had some sort of heart problem and so I handed the phone to my wife and got down and started CPR on him. It's a very strange thing to know someone very superficially and then to be suddenly intimately involved in deciding their fate. Actually, there was no decision on my part other than to decide to try save this guy's life or accept the fact that he is already gone. I am no doctor so all I knew to do was to begin CPR that I learned two decades ago. All I knew was that compressing his chest and breathing into his lungs might revive him if he wasn't too far gone. So, I just started - compressing, pumping, pumping, pumping.

For 10 minutes I did this while things happened around me. After the paramedics got there and took over, his wife, two grown sons, and a daughter in law showed up. I just stood there while the professionals worked on him. I thought for sure they would get his heart going again. Didn't happen. I think Dwight's ticket was up before I got there. I overheard the doctor on the radio from the hospital tell one of the EMT's to "call him at 10:35." Boom. Just like that. Life ends.

I flash on the strangest things about that situation. Could I have done more? What if we had been there sooner? When I first walked up to him his toy poodles were standing guard. The little black one was sitting on his belly, looking quite frightened. I reached down to pick him up, fully expecting to get bitten. The little guy growled at me but didn't bite me as I handed him to my friend.

My dog-loving neighbor had a DNR in place. Do not resuscitate. I think he knew he was living on borrowed time. Although this moment will be etched in my mind forever, I appreciate the reminder it has given me. We got an all-inclusive rides pass when we entered this amusement park called life and we get to have all kinds of rides before the park is closed and we are sent home. Some of the rides we thoroughly enjoy, others we might not. But we do get to experience every kind of ride there is by the time our visit is over.

My neighbor had a DNR document so the doctors knew they shouldn't go to extreme measures to keep him alive. I think the rest of us need a DNR document also. But, slightly different. The rest of us should have a Do Not Regret document that we adhere to. One that says we won't leave the amusement park with any regrets.

So, for me, the ride continues. I don't know when the park will be closing but until then, I am going to be fully present for the screams, the laughs, the fears, and the fun until the lights go out and the park closes for good.

Steve Dahl